| So, yeah I haven't updated this thing for a while, haha. My bad. Well, since I last updated I had a boyfriend. Yes, he was the love of my life, but it turned out he didn't love me back. It sucks, let me tell you. The one person you know you want, the one you know you could see yourself spending the rest of you life with, doesn't love you back. It's been a month now since we've been broken up and I still love him. Everytime I try to get close to another guy, he always pops up in my head. No body kisses me the way he does. Everytime we kissed, I felt something. I can't with anybody else. My hearts broken an I can't find anybody to fix it. I mean, yeah me an my bestfriend, kinda had a thing. He tells me one thing, that he doesn't want his ex girlfriend, but he always goes back to her. I can see them getting back together, so I got dicked over there. I don't know. Nothing new really, just chillin' with my girls in Jonestown. Hopefully I'm getting Cyber Schooled really soon! It'd make me soo happy. I can't stand my school. It's infested with drama freaks, everyday there's drama. I can't stand it, it's pathetic. Maybe they like drama, but I don't. I don't belong in school with those people. haha. I just feel like I don't fit in, you know? Eh, hopefully life gets better. I'm young yet, I have a lot to look forward to. Can't wait to get my license, then life will definetly start getting better. Go out meet new people, find new friends, move on with life. That's all there is to do. Hopefully by the time I'm out of school I still have the three bestfriends I have right now. Jay, Aurie & Dylan. Without these three I'd be lost. I mean Grannit, there's drama between us sometimes, but whatever that happens through friendships, but atleast we always end up talking it out an everything's okay in the end. These three seriously are the only people keeping me alive. I mean, I used to say that about Ashley, because it was true. She was my bestfriend. I thought we'd be bestfriend forever. I mean, who knows, maybe in time we'll end up being bestfriends again, but for now I don't see that happening, not until both of us changes an realizes things. She was the only person that understood me, even when I went through something she never did, she always tried her best to help me with it. I miss her, I do, I miss how things used to be between us, I miss the old times, haha. Before we even started partying together, haha. The first time we tried pot together, haha. Sneaking out of the houses. Building snowmen, Florida. The night she got the name O,J, an the night I got the name Pepsi, haha. Oh god, there was so many good times between us being total idiots an not giving a shit. I sure as hell miss it I can tell you that. Hopefully someday, things can be the way they used to be. But until then I'm stuck with the three I got, an I couldn't ask for better. No body's probably reading this, but whatever, I don't care. lol. Just something for me to type things I'm feeling. I think I'll try an update this more often, get things off my chest. Well, if you actually bothered to read this shit, comment me? haha. bye <|3 p.s i'm single. & I really wish someone would show me that all guys aren't the same. -- Dave, I really am glad I had the chance I had with you. You stole my heart from day one. I honestly mean that. You were everything I dreamed for. You had a family that liked me, accepted me for me. & Loved me as if I belonged there. I felt so comfortable around you. I could have seen myself with you forever. I never had a boyfriend that took me riding before, I really did enjoy that, every minute of it. Even though you're a dick an laughed at me everytime I almost wrecked. haha, it's okay. One day, I hope you realize you love me, and that no body will ever care about you the way I do, no body will ever want to give you anything you ever need. I can guarentee you, I'm here for you for the rest of my life, when my phone rings an your name shows up, I will most definetly pick it up, I don't care what I'm doing what time it is, I'm picking it up. I really wish that one day when I have a daughter, an she asks me who my first love, that I can point over on the couch an say . He's right there, David michael Schweibinz. The boy that showed me a whole new way of life, a whole new way of having fun. You actually made me realize what I have to exspect when I'm 18 an have to depend on myself. I'm sorry I ever put more stress on you then you needed. I really am, and I really wish you'd give me one more chance, to prove to you, you mean everything to me, an I could mean everything to you. I'll never forget anything. The first day you took me up to meet your parents. I was so god damn nervous. I thought your sister was going to hate me, I thought your mom an dad were too. It turned out they loved me, and I love them, you're sister is like a sister to me, i don't care how bad people talk about her. Your mom is like a second mom to me, I love her , I miss getting drunk with her, an just sitting there bullshiting about everything. I miss Christine, even though she's loud, i still miss her, and the first time she made me laugh in the store " How big's David's pickle?". haha. That was the greatest thing I ever heard coming from an aunt. Oh boy, an Aggie, I hope she's doing okay. She was definetly a trip. I'll never forget the day after your graduation party ,when she came out smoking a cigarette. & She looked at me an goes, " I don't know how?" an started laughing. Or her dancing , haha. Momma Linda, oh god. I miss her, she was soo funny when she was drunk. Her an Tom, haha. I miss you Linda!! Poppa Kevin ! , haha oh god, do I miss him, the day of your graduation party, hahaha. trying to make meeat those cherries, haha trying to tell me there wasn't jack daniels in there, haha. Or the night's he just pisses anywhere he feels like it. & That priceless drunk smile he has, haha oh man. I hope he's doing okayy! I miss you Kevin, stay strong, you're a hell of a guy . I'll alwaysss love you!. Dalton, I'll always be your girlfriend, I promise. & I'll always love you. I'll find you some day when you're all grown up, see if you remember me, haha. You're definetly gonna be a PIMP, haha. Jacob an Tori, You guys probably won't remember me when you're older if I don't get to see you by then. But I'll love you's tooo! Tori, you're gonna be a beautiful girl, you'll be breaken them boys hearts haha! Jacob, you'll be a pimp too, i know it. Stay strong kids <3 .. Heather! Oh god, I miss you like crazy, the crazy stories you would tell me, oh god, i loved it. & Smoking with you an making Dave an Terry pissed, haha. Oh man. I miss you babe! Stay strong. I love you. Dave, I really wish you could just see how much you mean to me, I mean I would do ANYTHING for you!! IT's crazy but I would, it's taking me forever to get over you an you just don't understand. To me, you're the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen, to me, you're the best thing that's walked on earth. Ugh! I love you... |
